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Roller coaster ride.

Since 2016, the ride has been a roller coaster type for me and I'm sure it is same for many of you!


So many things has happened from every directions and some directions I did not think would be possible! My son getting arrested and being incarcerated for two years and 8 months before his day in court came, not being able to be part of his new son's life. His first child. Then I recently learned that my son pretty much has terminated his paternal rights once he plead Alford Deal to lesser charge last March. I am not sure if my son knew this or not. This truly break my heart because he has been talking about when he gets out, he wanted time with his son and build a relationship with him.  Now it pretty much isn't happening.


We as paternal grandparents had been prevented from having an relationship with our grandson by the maternal grandmother who has temporary custody of our grandson because the Mom was struggling with alcohol but she has straighten up and gave birth to other babies (twins) and is able to keep the twins but fighting to get custody of this child back from her Mom. BUT to my surprise, she just now allowed us to have our grandson for couple of hours this coming Sunday to celebrate his 3rd birthday! We are excited and looking forward that!   BUT subconsciously wondering when the other shoe will drop in this. 


Praying for everyone here, We all are facing many different struggles but I'm thankful we have this place where we can share and know someone is struggling and can say We are here, we know the pains, frustrations and we know our love for our loved ones!

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Can you help me?

I have asked to be given July birthday list but I have not gotten it and I might have missed it.  How can I be better with getting messages as I'm still learning my way around this website.  I want to be able to send cards for July birthdays and have my son Justin on the August birthday list.  His birthday is August 17th.   Please help me not to miss anything here.  Thanks in advance.

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Comments: 7

His Words

If you will please put this on your journey page. Thanks momma
My family and friends -
I haven't taken the time to address every one of you as a group that have chosen to travel on this road with my direct family and me. For that I am sorry. Over this time, I’ve lost what to say when the idea come to my heart. I've been wanting to do this as an update on my mind on this I guess "situation". My perspective on life and a newly found appreciation I have for things in life like you guys. Each and every one of you has made a difference. Even those I've not heard from, family or friends. I hold no grudge or anger. I understand ALL of you have lives to live and responsibilities as well. I humbly say I still even appreciate the thoughts you've had of me if it’s just in memories. Seeing a picture and maybe remembering me for who I was. Not a prisoner in a blue uniform. God knows the struggles I've overcame. He also knows the struggles I deal with daily holding on to who I am. I smile in those pictures you see, when deep inside I'm fighting a pain so deep I can’t hardly breath at the thought of it typing this message right now. One hard to explain. I know what I feel, and at times find ways to cope through it. I'm tossed with how to balance my known normalcy from my past. And this reality of being incarcerated still now 53 months later. Living every single day with a life sentence knowing I took someone’s life. Accepting "this" as a form of justice. It’s hard. I can’t bring her back. Lord knows if I could go back, he could have my life for her to continue to live. I'm sensitive to my situation. But I hope this brings a therapy needed to face the truth of Gods plan for my life. Little by little the pain will be healed. I've asked her to forgive me. Life just keeps going and I set emotionless some days. Why me? ....................... Tara's life will not go on in vain. I will do good work in her memory.
Be still and know I am God. Trust the spirit to guide you in accepting Gods will. (I) am not God over myself. To (judge) and make past changes. Or self-benefited future aspirations. God is not just good when we need him through struggles.
Separation of things that are not of our control. In the lowest of times in life then do we reach up for him. A man has a choice in making (conscious) choices. For the good or bad. This world can seem so dark and unfair. So far from being a picture of what we would see as being God.
Is that because we chose to see the darkness in the hardest of times. There is light in those situations if we thru faith give it ALL to God. It’s his fight as our divine creator. We get subdued in a depressive situation that makes a positive thought seem impossible to have. It’s a fight sometimes, letting go of this world.... Someone passes we love very dearly; people of the church say things trying to keep you away. Drugs... Alcohol, even Razorback football. Things at times we put above God.
God can bless us with healing. With a way to live of Him in those situations. By keeping faith......... He will see us thru.
Is he your #1 desire? We as Christians or I’ll say, BELIEVERS should strive to put Him above ALL things. It doesn’t make you a hypocrite to struggle. It just makes you human.... I get carried away with football and other things at times. I accept the mess I am. I'm perfectly who I am, just as you are. Repenting and learning to be obedient is what it takes to keep a healthy relationship with God.
I'm just following my heart in what to say. As simple as I wanted to keep this. I guess sometimes it doesn't work out that way.
I miss my home bodies! So much I use to take for granted... When you lose everything, I guess sometimes that's what it takes. I've fought the fight. And don't have a good record obviously. I just want to be known as a good man. A simple man with a little family. Prosperous in all areas of life. I won't be denied what I want out of life.
YOU ALL have had a part in molding me into who I am. As this prison life I'm living... I'm thankful for who I have become. The Adam I have found in such a dark spot on this earth. Before my physical prison I was prisoned by LOTS of regret. THIS could have saved my life. Who knows...? 3321864958?profile=original
I hope you can gain a smile out of this. I can't wait to see y'all.... (:
M.I.S.S mothers (Mother’s of Incarcerated Sons Society), thank you!
My precious momma... My rock and best friend. Dad my courageous humble hero. The man I want to be as good as. Sisters.... my testers of patience (: grand ma' a woman of moral wisdom. Papaw George, man of honesty and our proud hard-working hillbilly. Mrs. precious Bettye B a selfless person, full to the rim of love. Aunt Leslie, my co warrior that will battle through whatever I face with me #MLLHR. Aunt Cindy, she gives me sunshine on rainy days. A fighter, stronger than she will ever know. Aunt Cricket, she understands me. Amazing heart and loyalty. Poor LSU fan .... Aunt Stacy, a Godly woman, I admire. Will always have a special place in my heart. Aunt Dawn, smart woman, so much more than what she realizes. Krystal, a beautiful soul and human being. Deborah' my friend, amazing strong woman and a story to tell that will make a difference. Ellie, caring positive woman I love dearly. Tracy, she is a special locket necklace around my neck that covers my heart that founded control over my pride. Sativa, out of the blue you come along and have sure made a difference. You inspire me. And lastly, Jeanna my dearest gentle soul of a friend. I'm thinking about you always. Strength and faith. Her spirit lives in us all. #RIP Mo'
There are many more to mention and yet I'm so grateful to have the love and support I have. You all deserve to at least know together YALL are what have helped me keep who I am. How I've made it to this point keeping a healthy mind. I will never forget the difference y'all have made. Much love, and please be safe always.
Thank you,
Adam Bailey

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Comments: 5

Learning my way around here.

Hello everyone,  

I had been trying to use this website on my phone and it is really limited in what I can do so I decided to come on the laptop and AHHH MUCH BETTER! :)  

My husband and I just arrived home last night from our visit with our son Justin in Tabor City NC. We left Oak Ridge TN on Wednesday and stayed at a wonderful center called Matthew 25 Center in Tabor City.  Wonderful ministry providing a free place for loved ones who lives more than 50 miles I believe or 100 miles a place to stay so we can visit our loved ones.  Wonder if anyone has this ministry in your area?  This is truly wonderful ministry and sparked a fire in me to be involved with this. 

Before we visited our son, we were very anxious and nervous as we were told they were very strict and we may not be able to see our son if we failed something. but to our relief, it was smooth sailing. We got to visit our son 3 hours split into two 1.5 hour visits.  Our visit was very light and we were able to talk and laugh just catching up with him.  He got to tell us some stuff about what he see in the prison. He said there are many good people in prison.  He has met many people he wants to continue friendship with once he gets out.  He said he can't wait to go home but he is thankful for the journey he has in there.  When we got back to the center to sleep, we actually crashed and slept from 8:15 pm till 6 am.  

Thank you all for your stories as I have been trying to keep up with you folks.  From one Mom to another. HUGS! 

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Comments: 4

Far From Over

This is new to me, this will be my first time to share my story. This is a story of my son, my one and only son, my firstborn. It is difficult to share such personal information with strangers. I do realize it is being shared from one moms heart to anther moms heart. We all love our babies no matter how old they are.  So, my story begins in the Fall of 1986, the air was crisp and cool. My favorite time of the year! I was expecting my first child. The leaves were falling down as I sat and looked out my window. I knew in just a few days my world would be forever changed with the birth of my first child. I was missing my dad who I'd just lost suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 6 mos. pregnant. So, in the midst of my grief over loosing my dad I was eager and excited about this new phase of my life;"Motherhood". I'd always wanted to be a mom. On November 23rd 1986 my first baby was born. A beautiful healthy baby boy. I named him "James" after my dad. I knew early on he was very smart. So inquisitive. In school he excelled academically and in Sports. James graduated #28 in his class, Magna Cum Laude. I was very proud. He had some business classes in college. James just excelled, opened a successful business and won honors from the BBB. He was very driven and often very hard on himself. What none of us knew was that he had Bipolar 1. I knew that if he drank, his behavior would change dramatically. The alcohol was a trigger for manic episodes. I had never been around people that drank, I knew alcohol affected people differently. I just honestly had no idea of his condition. My son had trouble maintaining relationships. He has a beautiful daughter that is 10 years old. He never married her mom. They have maintained a good relationship and respect each other. I had often prayed he would meet the right person. One day during the Christmas holidays he brought home a beautiful girl for me to meet. I honestly thought she was great. She was a few years older, had a son from a previous marriage. My entire family loved her and welcomed her and her son. My sons business was doing well, his fiance got a promotion and moved about 2 hours away. My son was driving back and forth, he had tremendous pressure on him from the business and taking care of his family. He begin drinking more and his now ex-wife drank more than I realized. She hid her drinking well. He later told me how controlling and impossible she had become. I felt like things were unraveling. Just a feeling us moms get??? They had lost a baby and she was expecting again. My son was looking forward to the birth of his son. We were so excited. My son snapped under intense pressure and had a manic episode. He was originally charged with aggravated assault on a public servant. The videos clearly showed he didn't assault anyone. Of course we were devastated! Nothing made sense. I was in complete shock. In the beginning his wife seemed supportive, but then turned her back on him and us as well. My son was misdiagnosed at first and put on Prozac. He was desperate to be released in time for the birth of his son. He also thought he could reason with his wife and be able to see his child. James was coerced by the D.A. to take a deal. His lawyer wasn't present. The DA's office told him if he would plea guilty to the underlying offense he would get deferred adjudication and be released for his sons birth. He signed the deal, not knowing what he signed! When he went to report for probation for the first time, deputies were waiting for him. He was told he had violated his probation. We thought at that point the deferred adjudication would be revoked and her would be placed on regular probation. It was at that hearing when he and his lawyer saw what he signed. The deal stated that if he violated any of the terms and conditions, the penalty was 5 to 99 years!!! Also, waiving his rights to a trial by jury. We were again devastated! On May 15, 2016 we went to court, we were in court all day. The judge sentenced my son to 17 years! He has now served 2 years. We have already appealed once and it was denied. We expected that. One good thing all the lies and accusations his ex-wife brought out in court were thrown out by the panel of Judges that reviewed his case. SO, technically the only thing they have on my son is leaving the county. But, because he took that horrible deal!!!! We can appeal again, but we just feel like maybe there is a case out there similar to my sons case. I have never felt so helpless in my life. In the beginning I cried for days and days. I have to end this blog by telling you how much strength that God has given me to hold up and just have the courage to share this story. I left out lots of details, trying to condense this. Its a terrible thing when people that once claimed they loved you so much can be so hateful, But as my sister says; "the tide always turns". Do I think my son is perfect? No! But he didn't deserve this! The Judge, we later found out was up for re-election. After the appeal we found out that he had lost his seat. My son lost everything! There is not a day that goes by that he doesn't grieve over not getting to see his son. All he has is a picture. The mom let me see the baby twice. He will soon be 2 years old. I pray for my son everyday. I take his precious daughter once a month to see him because he's far from us. The title I chose for this post or blog was "Far From Over" because my son's story is not over...thanks for reading

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Just wanted to say hello to everyone . I don't get on here very much. To be truthful, I don't know much about getting in here. My son has been in a county jail since Aug. of 2016. They have kept postponing his trial. Right ow the pre-trial is July 1st & trial is Aug. 26. I'm not going to the trial. I've had 2 dr's tell me they don't want me going. And I hate to say it, but i don't want to go. I know the prosecutor will make my son look like a S.O.B. That's his job. And I don't want to see that. Plus I don't want to see how my son had been acting to cause him to be in this position. He's charged with 2 counts of murder & 2 counts of arson. I don't think he would ever do this when he was his normal self. But he'd been drinking & taking an anti-depressant, so if he did it, I think the meds & drinking ganged up on him. 

Anyway, thanks for lisening.  Sharon Sheets.

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my daughter and recently visited my 29 year old son who has served 3 years of his 7 year sentence.  We don’t visit often since he is over 6 hours away.  He is doing extremely well and admits that being there probably saved his life.  He is choosing to live as healthy as possible.  He stopped smoking, drinking and doing drugs.  He’s lost weight and is exercising daily.  He says he’s in the best shape he’s ever been in.  We had a wonderful time together and I really miss him now that we left.  My concern is that once he’s released, the harmful substances will be available to him and that he’ll give to his addictions.  His judgement would once again be impaired and he’d land back in prison.  I know I shouldn’t project into the future but i’m afraid for his future.  

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My son was released from prison

My son nick was released from prison 2 days ago..they say prison can change someone for the better or afraid my son is worse.hes told my many stories about being in prison hes talking different hes acting different.hes been in contact with some of the people he was involved with.we have custody of his 3yr old his ex( mother of their son) is coming around.she wasnt around while he was in prison.she was involed with the same things he was before he got caught..he took all the blame so she wouldnt go to prison.i cant express how much i hate this girl! I will not let them take my grandson which is what they want to heart is so broken over this..i was the only person who "had his back" while he was away.i just wanted him to get out & do right.i wanted him to miss me as much as i missed him..any advice on how to handle so lost..thanks..

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seems like the last ten years have been in and out for my son, but this past time he got my daughter involved. I ended up with her children. She thankfully is out and in recovery. It could’ve been worse. My mom died and everything seemed to just go so bad from there. My other two kids went the opposite direction, in college, navy and army.

the other two are also bipolar. I know that’s most of it. Self medicating and the prison system housing people who really need help. 

My son said a friend was stabbed in the face this week. He’s scared. I’m scared. They want to send him to max, even though his points warrant medium. This entire situation is a nightmare 

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Long time hello!

Hello everyone!

I hope this email finds everyone in good spirits.  I haven't logged on in awhile,  if your babies have been released  AWESOME! If not, they'll be home soon so tell them to remain encouraged! Darion is doing good and that allows me to be in a great place. 3321865055?profile=original

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transfer to a prison two hours away

Last week, my son was transferred to a prison 2 hours away.  His first prison was 6 hours away, and after a couple of years, I learned how to make that 12 hr drive, 1-3 hour wait and 2-3 hour visit into a long day- and I made this journey every two weeks.  After 7 1/2 years, he was transferred to a prison 4 hours away- and let me tell you, that journey is so much easier!  Another mom started to join me, and she would visit her son.

2 years ago, I became a grandmother.  I made the decision to stop taking call 24/7, stop delivering babies, and work a night shift job at the hospital.  I watched my grandchild every weekday afternoon before going to work, to help his mom and dad with the cost of babysitting.  But I didn't sleep very well, and last year I began to loss control of my vision.

My son became extremely worried (of course) and insisted I have the million dollar work up- only to be told I was not getting enough sleep.  I took a day job.  He decided to see if he could get transferred closer to home.

This almost didn't happen.  You see, he requested and was (surprise) approved for a prison right in the heart of the county where his dad grew up.  The farm is 15 minutes away from the prison.  His dad's grave, along with his grandparents, is 5 mins away from the prison.  

In Illinois, once the transfer has been approved, you get 90 days before the transfer is no longer valid.  The second week of December I went to my (ex)husband's family and asked if they would sign letters to the two wardens- one at the prison he was act, and one where he was approved to go- as both victims of my son's crime and as a relative to my son.  Every single family member there signed the letter.  12 family members signed that they wanted Liam to be in their community, to be able to visit him and support him in his incarceration and his reentry into society. Honestly, I doubt that most of them will go visit him. But, the very fact that they supported my son made me feel so much hope.

We had two weeks before the transfer permission would be terminated.  I sent the letters through USPS with a required signature.  I had a very heavy heart Christmas week.  On Christmas Day, I checked my mail (because I didn't the day before) and there was a letter from one warden telling me that his approval had been extended, and to be patient.  

Just typing this, I have tears in my eyes.

Liam was moved 9 days ago, on a very cold late January day.  He probably drove right by his dad's gravesite.  Tomorrow, my daughter, my ex's sister Karen (who has seen him once since the trial) and I will go visit Liam.  I am so so happy.  I will be able to bring Liam's nephews to visit once in a while, and we can also get to know the other little kids in the family (one of my nephew's bought the old family farm).  This move should help our family become closer.

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Comments: 8

So upset

Just talked to my baby. He got denied for judicial release. Hearing his voice and hearing the hurt in his voice has crushed me. All I can do is cry. 

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Missing my baby

I am suppose to go see my baby this Saturday. Things are not working out though. It's bad enough that I can only see him once a month because of the distance and I don't have a car. If I can't get to him, I will be devastated. He has been talking about the visit since I made the reservation. We both need this. Those hugs are worth all the stress, actually seeing his face brightens up my day, and just being able to see for myself that he isn't bruised in anyway (I fear he maybe being mistreated) helps me stay strong. I need this visit..please pray for us

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Comments: 6

talking its toll

Good evening fellow Queens,

Today I received an email from our wonderful leader Rhonda and it couldnt have come at a better time.   I've been attempting to communicate with my son whom is serving 25 years suspend all but 5 for the past 3 weeks! I The institution he is in has been on lock down sine a guard was attacked so of course everyone is punished.  He hasnt been able to call out nor has he been able to send letters.  I thought they couldnt sanction when mail would go out but then again its their system and they do what they want.  Im raising his 3 boys(9,5 and 2) and of course I wouldnt be me if I wasnt overdoing this myself(2 jobs and school online).  I thought it would keep my ind off of this situation but it hasnt.  I just want to know is he being given/taking his meds? have they checked his levels because he has no thyroid and the meds were making him hallucinate more than usual? is he eating properly because the noodles has so much sodium that interferes with his levels and he can go into shock again especially if he's stopped taking meds.  All these are going plus a million other questions.  Of course no one answers when you call or youre transferred and no return call....Did I mention I work in the Mental Health capacity at a nearby facility.....Im losing it but today.  That email came thru and I just knew it was a sign from above saying Hold on! All i can say is Thank You Rhonda for being you! Sorry for the long post but as youre aware these situations are very overwhelming.  

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Thank you

My son wants to say thank you for the Halloween cards. Unfortunately he doesn't have envelopes to write anyone back presently. I also want to say thank you. He was very happy. He keeps saying that it's nice to be thought of, especially during this time. He has been down lately and those cards cheered him up some. I pray that the cards I mailed will have the same affect for your child. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

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Liam goes for his sentencing October 30th.  His 25th birthday is October 20th, his stepfather and my anniversary is the 31st, and his stepfathers birthday is November 2nd.  I don't know what or how to feel.  Joyous scared sad and broken all at the same time.  I guess we will at least find out what he is looking at.  Prayers please.

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Comments: 5